Lost in Paradise

November 4, 2009 at 2:45 pm (Uncategorized)

It was a beautiful day in the Pacific Ocean. The wind rushed through my long brown hair as I steered my motor boat around some buoys. I smiled as the warm summer sun beat down on my face. I looked back to make sure my best friend Shannon was doing ok, because I know she can get a little seasick. “You alright back there Shannon?” I yelled over the loud humming of the boats motor. There was no reply. “Shannon?” Still no answer. I quickly put on the brakes and turned around to find that Shannon was no longer there. I frantically searched around my small boat, thinking that maybe she took a nap or something. But Shannon was nowhere to be found. I scanned the rough blue ocean around me. My heart raced every time I saw a fish or piece of seaweed. I racked my brain, trying to find an explanation for what could’ve happened to her. Last time I checked on her, I thought, she was hanging over the edge of the boat. Could she have fallen out? Suddenly, the boat began to speed forward, and I was not at the wheel. I fell to the ground as a sharp pain shot through my body. I tried to push my heavy body up but the momentum of how fast the boat was going continued to knock me down.  It took all of my energy to heave my now numb body over to the passenger’s seat and work my way up to a sitting position.  I turned to the passenger’s seat to see what had happened.  Instead of the passenger’s seat being empty, like I hoped it would be, there was a small elf-like man.  He was dressed in a little green outfit and had red tights on.  His hat was fluffy and slanted to a point at the top, and he was covered in bells of all sizes.

“WHOA!” I shouted and jumped 10 feet into the air.  The little person turned and gave me an evil glare.

“MUAHAHAHAHAA!!! I’VE GOT YOU NOW!” He shouted.

“What’s going on?” I strained to yell over the elf’s evil laughter.  He turned to me again and his face turned orange as he began to tell me his story.

“You were not a good little girl this year!  You fought with your siblings and made fun of people at school.  Santa will never forgive you for that!  He has put you on the naughty list.  PERMANENTLY.  He sent me to teach you a lesson and that’s exactly what I plan to do!”  He steered the boat towards a nearby volcano.  As he did this, his face molded into something that looked like he had just eaten a lemon whole and someone set his eyebrows on fire.  I dropped to the ground and tried to cover myself before we crashed when all of a sudden, the boat began to fly.  We floated off through the sky and I watched in amazement.  When we landed at the North Pole I hopped out of the boat a stared in awe at the huge red building that was in front of me. 

“Come with me.” said Santa’s Helper as he led me through a tiny door.  He sat me down in a room with only a table and a single chair in it.

“What’s this for?” I asked as he pulled out the chair.  He held up a chubby little finger and waltzed up to a cabinet.  A few seconds later, he was dumping a huge bag of candy canes on the table. 

“Start eating.”  He said as he locked the door to the room.  And that’s how I’ve become an 800 pound woman eating stale candy canes in Santa’s basement.  What a life!

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